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Myki: Another fine product from Bastards Incorporated

Posted by: Neil Mitchell | 5 December, 2012 - 9:25 AM
Neil Mitchell says Myki is another fine 'Bastards Incorporated' product.

Years ago, one of the TV comedy programs ‘The Comedy Company’ used to run a segment on something they called ‘Bastards Incorporated’.

It was targeted at people who created problems in life and their outline was: another fine product thanks to Bastards Incorporated.

It asked questions like: who shakes up the soft drink cans so when you open them, they spray all over you; who makes boxes of tissues where the perforations don’t work; and who in the paper clip factory carefully links them all together so when you try to get a paper clip you get a link chain.

Well, here’s another fine product from Bastards Incorporated: Myki.

Can you believe this. Myki is designed to annoy, to frustrate, to make you – the customer – suffer.

We know about cards that don’t work, we know about the long queues, we know they closed information booths on Cup Day, and we know the chief executive said it was all the fault of those pesky customers. It would work very well if nobody used it.

Well, now Myki cards are about to expire. They are reaching their use-by date – which nobody knew existed. So, you will have money on your card, but it will expire because they have decided it should expire.

Now, you can renew it, but only if you go to Southern Cross Station – nowhere else in the state – or you can buy a new one and apply for a refund of the $6 it cost you.

So, your credit card only expires because of security factors, and plastic cards will last, but not Myki.

And when it’s going to expire, firstly they don’t tell you, secondly, there is only one office that will fix it, And thirdly, if you buy a new card you have to jump through bureaucratic hoops to get reimbursement for something you shouldn’t have to pay for.

Bottom line, their system doesn’t work so they make you suffer and pay for it.

Myki, there’s another fine product from Bastards Incorporated. Bastards like whoever invited Myki.

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Blog comments Your Say

  • The "whole Myki system is a very big rort",it cost you more to travel on than, the Metcard system ever did.

    Myki does not always work, when you touch on and touch off.And yet you still get fined for being in the wrong, when the myki system is not working,where is the justice in that.

    Bring back the Metcard.

    Pollies only care about themselves and not the public.

    mark Monday 11 February, 2013 - 12:24 PM
  • I enquired about "day tickets" or "one off" cards for my interstate visitors to take the kids to the zoo. I was told I had to buy 4 cards - $6 each for the adults and $3 each for the kids and then put money on them- so $18 before we even started on the fares!!! I asked if I could buy one card, load up with credits and use it 4 times for one trip, guess what!! No way, I had to buy 4 cards.
    Needless to say, with this rip off, the kids won't be going to the zoo.

    Christine Sunday 27 January, 2013 - 5:52 PM
  • I drove from the country to Dandenong today to drop off a vehicle and had to get to Southern cross station to get the train home. I head of to the MYKI booth. What a fantastic system, I hand the lady over $20, MYKI to Souther cross please, I don't need anything else. Well did I get any change, no, I had to pay for the MYKI thing then all the rest went on the card, so Dandenong to southern cross cost me $20. Then I could swipe on at Dandenong, every one else in front is swiping and nothing happening. Finally get through, then guess what, get to southern cross and there is 29 people in front of me going crazy cause they can't swipe off. Lmao, what tosser thought up that system and worse still, what half wit approved it and wasted tax payers money. Wouldn't it be nice to walk up and buy a daily or weekly etc like it used to be. Only loser in this system is the user

    Trevor Tuesday 8 January, 2013 - 7:35 PM
  • I am a regional traveller who travels to Melbourne only a few times a year. Where does Peter of Rosanna suggest I "touch on" to reactivate the card I initially had to purchase and then "top up" with extra money I can ill afford, because no none has a clear idea of how much train and tram fares are.

    Gabrielle Graham Monday 31 December, 2012 - 9:35 AM
  • Check out the Myki Song in the youtube link and then sing alone when you are behind the Myki queue :D

    Ka Monday 24 December, 2012 - 10:37 PM
  • +1 Wendy. What we currently have in the form of "Myki" is unworkable and will (hopefully soon) be replaced by a realistic transport payment system. If not, I can only say that it is the result of Labor's incompetence, but the Liberals could not find a way out of it.

    David T. Monday 17 December, 2012 - 6:47 PM

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