Pub:  Laurel Hotel
Where:  289 Mount Rd., Ascot Vale
Phone:  9370 5800
Date:  16-23 July 2010
Score:  13/20
Internet:  www.laurelhotel.com.au

Today’s review is one of two parts, covering a week from a pub I have visited previously, (around 3 years ago), and is one of the closest from home. So let’s not muck about.

Part 1 – 16/07/10. There is a wonderful metaphor of life and it is simply this: When you’re off, you’re off.

Now while this arcane expression is usually confined to the racetrack, it streams through all strands of life. Think of the untouchable highflyer, the guru at whose feet we genuflect. Without notice, savagely, quickly and cruelly they fall from grace.

Why? They’re off and they didn’t know it. Nothing can be done when you’re off.

Entering the Laurel Hotel on Thursday night, 650pm, (in my mind I see the time and date at the bottom of the TV screen as Scully and Mulder go in search of the unknown) and the bistro is humming. Near capacity, I take stock.

It is an oddly shaped room, the bar being the centre-point of all activity. TAB is in a separate area and there is a quiet beer small garden.

Hmm, a table of 12 diners, (6 couples), another of 12 blokes post footy training. This signals poison, if (and please pardon the ghost of Benny Hill here) you are after a quick in/out.

Order 707pm at the bar – burger, pizza, veal.  Drink is a Scotchman Hill SavBlanc, easy entry level white at $27.

Time: 753pm. I have run out of idle chit chat. Table next door gets meal. Beef Burger, monstrous serving, all the trimmings, egg, cheese, caramelised onions, beetroot, tomato, and a serve of chips that easily feeds 3 or 4 hungry kids. Looks good.

Fish of the Day, say 4 or 5 flathead fillets, with salad and chips - $22. Another monstrous serve of salad and chips and tartare.

(What is it about suburban pubs and potatoes and salad??? Is it a case of never mind the quality, feel the width??)

Time; 754pm. No sign of the footy table being fed. I know their order is in front of and 40 minutes has elapsed.

Time; 757pm. Staff nervously approaches table and informs.. ‘Sorry, I haven’t put the order in’; it’s at least 20 minutes away.

With a breathtaking honesty and genuine contrition, I am taken aback and very pleasantly surprised. Could have said kitchen busy and doing their best. The offer of the no charge on the beer and soft drink appeases me further but I offer to pay for the wine.

Agree to return next week.

Part 2- 23/7/10. 650pm, a week later, and it is much quieter. Recognised from previous week. First beer and soft drink on the house. Good start.

This time the order goes – pizza, burger veal. Now for the review of the food. All other elements of the pub are fine.

In spite of the very pleasant aesthetics, the food is straight up and down pub grub, pretty much the standard you’d find in the suburbs. Look it’s not bad, but I drew the conclusion as it is in inner north (ascot vale), there might be a dash to it. Tried was;

 - Pizza@ $18 - Moroccan lamb, spanish onion, spinach, roast peppers & fetta
with pesto, yoghurt & lemon wedge. Wow that’s a lot going on. What eludes me is the Moroccan bit, as the lamb was re-heated roast without any spicing up. Thicker, commercially available base made, meat was tough, at $18 there are better options.

 - Burger @ $19 Good meat, matched the look, ( think the spuds were ‘birds eye or edgell bad boys’). No doubt an adolescent favourite and easily knocked over. My question always is – How about doing the spuds in the kitchen?

 - Veal scallopine, mushrooms, roasted veg (and there were a lot of them), in a creamy white wine sauce @ $24. Veal was sliced much thicker than you would normally expect, but it was fine. If you like a stack on the plate, the Laurel is your go to man.

The wine was as per the previous week and at $27 is good shopping in a pub.

I have now reviewed The Laurel 3 times in the past decade and the foundations of the pub, good beer, atmosphere, staff and cleanliness are there. No issue.

However, I still await the day when they crash through the safety of the suburban pub menu and dare to be different. Give the kitchen its head and make up a thin pizza base (and get rid of at least one of the toppings), grab some spuds and do them from scratch.

Or in other words, give us a wow factor.

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