Pub:          Mentone Hotel
Where:     95 Beach Rd.  Mentone
Phone:        9810 0088
Date:         15 October 2010
Score:         10.7/20
internet:    www. mentonehotel.com.au

Invariably when idle discussion turns to Victoria’s most scenic thoroughfare, the majestic Great Ocean Road dominates. With good reason too, it is a breathtaking journey which highlights our much understated and estimated coastline while we take in Fairhaven, Lorne, Apollo Bay et al.

Beach Rd., Melbourne is a beauty too, more highlighted coming into rather than out of town.  A few pubs have gone by the wayside on Beach Rd., , but still there is Milano’s at Brighton, Sandringham and the soon to be re-opened (and original pick for today’s review) The Beaumaris.

Sadly it wasn’t, and the next stop was the Mentone Hotel in the shadows of St. Bede’s college.  But no problems here, I thought.

Now, I went to this pub around 7 years ago, (at lunchtime) and for the life of me, left feeling under-whelmed.   Food was Ok then, the bar had no buzz, but I went away feeling it had to be me: That I was the wrong demographic, there at the wrong time.

But in the words of English superstar Lily Rose Beatrice Allen for this time around..  “It’s not me, it’s you”.

The Mentone is a fantastic, multi storey, Victorian style hotel.  Externally the sandy colours exude warmth; inside the high ceilings, fabulous looking courtyard promise so much. But in my opinion, something falls short.

Let me take you on my journey on a (rare) warm afternoon in Melbourne.

Through the main entrance a beautiful looking bar stands in the middle of the room, at the foot of the stairs.  Curiously, and with the sun over the yardarm, no one is at the bar – front or behind.  Soon enough a young man (and to be fair I waited no more than 30 seconds), appears.

Surely, on a day like this a local tradie or two breasting the bar, or a couple of retired gents talking about the stockmarket could be found, but nope.  Indeed on leaving an hour later, still no one there.

However, what rankles me was the beer poured.  I asked for Carlton Draught, as did my partner, a former employee of the brewery.  From the tap that said CD, out came something else, Boags Draught to mine and his palate.  Don’t get me wrong, Boags is a ripper, but I didn’t ask for this.  

I have had enough of pubs either deliberately or inadvertently doing this, either pushing a brand for rebate purposes, moving slow stock and mixing it up with the more popular or bad work practices in setting the barrel up.

I don’t know what happened here, but my advice to every publican is fix it.

Into the bistro, and the charming wait staff leads me to my table.  Bare wooden tables, water brought without asking (good) it has a seating capacity of at least 150 by my estimation, and the galley is open for all.   It looks a superior version to most suburban pub bistros.  The background music could come down a notch.

Interestingly, each weekday night has a very well priced special, while lunch time is full rack rate.  The parmas on Tuesday night represent good value at $14.9/$18.9.

The start was the pork sausage, goats cheese, caramelised onion pizza ($17.5) was a good share, the base though being a lot firmer than traditional pizza dough.  Rich, but a nice mix.

My main was the potato and chorizo croquettes ($12).  They were awful.  Barely room temperature, the coating came away too easily  (problem with the deep fryer??) and what chorizo that alleged to be there required the phoenix capsule to be sent from Chile to find it.  At $12 for lukewarm potatoes, I struggle to remember anything worse in the past 16 years.   Hmmm.

The 400g Hopkins river rump, jacket potato, with choice of sauces and condiments ($29) was cooked as ordered and had a nice char grilled flavour to it.  No problems there. On Thursdays, it is an absolute bargain at $16 (night).

The wine ordered was Innocent Bystander PG.  Listed at $39 on the menu, I am charged $40 on the final bill.  Now I don’t want to get ancy about $1, but it is my $1 and the price is one or the other.  Message:  get it right.  Naturally I pay the 40.  The wine list is extensive and doesn’t deviate too much from popularly accepted brands.

Throughout the lunch, there is only 2 other tables of a couple of people at each, I recall.  From 130ish, there is only the two of us.

Bill paid - $98 – and back up the beach rd.  Soon enough as the city opens up to the west just past Brighton, my frustration subsides and I ask myself if, again it must be me that‘s missing the vibe at the Mentone.

That thought soon passes – it’s not me, it’s you.

Feedback on this one keenly sought.

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