Pub:  Riversdale Hotel
Where:  277 Auburn Rd., Hawthorn
Phone:  9882 3361
Date:  15 May 2009
Score:  11/20

The film scene is easily recalled; the shambolic nature of the surroundings still ranks with me as the most chaotic captured on celluloid.

The backdrop is the fictitious Nung River, in the not so fictitious Cambodian jungle. Willard, played by Sheen is ordered to find Kurtz, played by Brando. The movie is “Apocalypse Now”. The scene is the concert for the troops with the Playboy Bunnies. Suddenly everything turns mad and the dialogue rivets as the touring party endeavours to escape this asylum.

The question – Who’s in charge here?
The answer (from a crazed servicemen) – I thought you were.

At least that’s my memory of the scene, and while it may be a circuitous route for the pub of week, this was the question I asked myself on visiting the Riversdale Hotel in Hawthorn.

Indeed it is the first question I ask myself each week when I go to a pub, yet on entering this pub, I waited to be served, not long, but enough, for someone to ask me what can I get you?

 And while I waited the merest of moments, I suspected it may the forerunner of what was to come; my instincts after 14 years were spot on.

The Riversdale had a fearsome reputation a while ago as being a pub, with pokies, that bucked the belief that many hold, that is, the pokies come first, second and third, and the food, beverage and hospitality come in a distant 4th, 5th and 6th.

Simply it is just another pub, the likes of which can be found anywhere,

The beer, in a 7oz, was fine. That’s good. The tab in a pub, rather than a pub-tab (yes there is a difference) was humming along nicely.

They have an area outside the pub that you can have a gasper (in accordance with the guidelines) and not miss a race with a TV there. Good. You can walk straight back into the pub and some of the lingering smoke follows. Hmmmm.

The dining room is one of many I have seen. It looks tired; the seats are uncomfortable, drab walls, standard pokie carpet, but an owner/manager can make up for this with a commodity that costs nothing – hospitality. Unfortunately you go the counter, order from the large menu, sit down and wait for it to come.

Another brick in the wall.

No water brought out; unclear if there is bread as part of the package (you can buy some) and certainly no table service on an afternoon that not a great deal was happening around me at 130pm.

Some people who review get “ancy” (I think that’s how you spell it) if you are asked if you are enjoying the meal. I don’t, would have relished the chance this afternoon cos there would have been a yes and a no.

The yes was the roast of the day (lamb) at $20.50, although the meat wasn’t carved in that long flourish that you love; more bits with an electric knife (I suspect) arranged a plate with gravy and jelly. Ok, none the less.

The grilled trevalley - $21.90 – arrived as 2 large fillets, yet didn’t have the dry appearance or crispy skin you expect from grilling. Standard C&S accompanied the meal, but as the skin peeled off like sunburn after a day at the cricket, the second piece was left untouched.

Pity really, because the excellent house made thai fish sauce that came with it didn’t have a friend to play with it.

Leo Buring Riesling ($31.90 and priced to the mark) is a staple of the industry and is a luscious drop.  Pepperjack at $37 is no spoil.

However the end came quickly. Sitting with my guest, the lights of the kitchen went off, chef walked past and there was a dim feel to the room. Turning around, I saw a sign saying this bar was closed (did it open that day??) and no one there to ask if we would like a beer or coffee to finish.

I started to laugh; no other way to describe this. Did they really want my business or did they have to preserve the endangered species known as the 5 rhinos clinking away in the background?

Bill paid, I left.

In the words of Jack Little....”That’s all there is; there isn’t anymore.

3AW Pub Of The Week 2009

3AW Pub Of The Week is back - and better than ever - on 3AW.com.au. Take the tour through Victoria's best and worst pubs with our expert, Tony Leonard.