Pub:  Royal Saxon Hotel

Where:  545 Church St., Richmond
Phone:  9429 5277
Date:  4 June 2010
Score:  14.4/20
Internet:  www.royalsaxon.com

I promise the following is not made up. I am using the opening paragraphs from the Royal Saxon’s website to commence the review.

'Royal Saxon reinvents the urban pub for the people who make Melbourne interesting. Here it’s about memorable experiences, not hospitality clichés'.

WHAT A LOAD OF CODSWALLOP.

Unless I’m not following Fiona Byrne’s confidential pages in the Hun as closely as I should, the 50 of us at lunch were as anonymous and uninteresting as each other.

As for hospitality clichés, if the male wait staff impersonating the Don Johnson look from Miami Vice and me being referred to as 'my man', or everything being ‘too easy’ isn’t passé, then I don’t know what is!

PRETENTIOUS! MOI?

On the redevelopment of the pub – and it is fabulous to be fair – the website informs;

'The result (of the new look) provides a spectrum of different indoor/outdoor rooms and moods to explore – all areas connecting naturally.

If I may quote the god-awful soapie character, Andy Millman, from Ricky Gervais’ Extras, "Are you havin’ a laugh?", "He’s havin’ a laugh".

Look the reasons you go to a pub are;

1.    Have a beer, with or without company
2.    Have a feed, with or without company
3.    Combine 1 and 2 above
4.    Listen to some music, play poker/pokies/pool/TAB
5.    Kill some time after wedding ceremony/Gather for a wake
6.    Find the person of your dreams, or for at least the next 6 or so hours.

The Royal Saxon, across the road from Bryant and May is the hottest new spot on the Melbourne pub scene, certainly grabbing all of Melbourne’s PYT’s late in the week.

While the original facade remains from the old days, inside has had the best makeover of any pub I have seen in recent times with its wood/brick/steel/slate/timber lines.

You feel comfortable immediately on entering and while lunch mid week was peaceful, I expect that latter in the week noise will be at extreme levels.

The rectangular outdoor ‘atrium’ (my description) was chosen to dine which provides enough protection from the small perimeter roofing overhead. Wooden benches, individual heaters give a refined picnic air to dining.

And make no mistake, the food’s good, definitely with Italian leanings, with prices befitting the quality. Tried was;

- Bufalina pizza – tomato, basil and buffalo mozzarella @ $19. Great base, simple execution, very, very tasty,

- Spaghetti with mussels, tomato sauce and lemon zest @ $22. From the specials list that day and again, a simple, delightful tasty pasta,

- Pork Belly ($28) braised in red wine vinegar, cannelli beans and chicoria. Wonderful pig, generous serve, great sticky, distinctive flavours again,

- Kate Hill Riesling ($49). From the carefully thought out wine list, this beauty comes from South of Hobart. First try, I am not surprised that this Riesling has received rave reviews.

I like the idea of food and drink being identified from the regions sourced, but when I saw Melbourne Bitter Longnecks ($10) from... 'Abbotsford Vic' I knew the author was used to self satisfaction or a complete and utter try-hard.

I look around the Royal Saxon, hoping to catch the most impossibly beautiful and sensitive man on TV in Australia, no perhaps the world. He should be here, perhaps in the kitchen?

I am unable to find him for I only wish to say one word that means so much to me and says so much about him and the Saxon;

Aubergine.

Review: Montague Hotel

Review: If you are thinking posh pub, hold the horses there; It’s not. My criticism of the Montague three years ago was that the front bar felt sterile. In essence, come in, have a beer and let’s gets you into the bistro. Not now.

Tony's Pub Of The Week 2010

Tony Leonard is back again this year providing readers with reviews from all the pubs he visits on the Neil Mitchell program every Friday after 11:30am. Your home for all of the reviews - 3AW.com.au/pub2010. View all the reviews by clicking on Tony's image on the right.