Pub: Union Hotel
Where: 252 Union Rd., Ascot Vale
Phone: 9370 7068
Date: 5 March 2010
Score: 13.2/20
Internet: N/a

A very pleasant memory of Fawlty Towers came back to me when I visited the Union in Ascot Vale this week.

I remember Sybil at the front desk repeating time and again, “I know, oooh, I know”, which prompted Basil to snidely remark, ‘then why is she telling you?’. This repetition came at the Union in the 2010 version of the “I know”, “Absolutely (very big in the 90’s)” or the positively archaic “yes”.

And that expression is – Too Easy.

The Union Hotel is an institution in the inner North and is far superior at every level to its nearest competition, the Waterloo cup and the Anglers. In its colourful past, it had a fearsome reputation for very hard men to gather and then wheel and deal, but not anymore. Public Bar with TAB, could be one of many in the ‘burbs; surprisingly there isn’t a poker machine.

However the bistro and beer garden have had severe makeovers and in spite of being on the corner of a major intersection, there is a deceptive amount of space to spread out.

The atmosphere was very friendly, conducive to bringing families.

Not wanting to be an old curmudgeon, but it is the duty of management to teach staff between the accommodating and the overly relaxed, which prompted the following conversation;

-  Can we get a jug of water? Too easy
-  Do you mind if we sit here? Ah, too easy
-  Can we order now? Too easy
-  Do you bring the meals to the table? Yes. Too easy (I actually said that getting in the groove)

The wooden tables were set bare and could have done with a bit of butchers paper on them, but hey, we’re here for a burger, parma, etc and if that’s what you want, coupled with some reasonably priced specials, then the Union is the go-to-guy.

Entrees run to the Brushetta (7.9 and that should be the top price anywhere for tommies on toast), Dips (trio of them around the 11-12 mark) and Caesars $13/15 line.

A very big Pub Burger, all the trimmings and chips sets you back $16.50. Very filling, tasty, but like some many done in pubs, they tend to fall apart as the eating goes on.

A very cheesy Parma (with ham) chips and salad was $19.50. This was no miserable offer either; a very generous fillet, thin coating, served hot was better than your average. If you like a stack of cheese though, this may be heaven.

The final dish was the Pasta special – penne $17 – with Italian sausage, mushroom, olives, and home-made Napoli. Nice dish but the house had applied the parmesan and like the Parma, their generosity in lactose extended to the pasta.

Memo – allow the patron to determine how little/much they want by bringing it out.

Don’t expect different when it comes to wine. The list ran to the form-card with the increasingly popular Squealing Pig SavBlanc $8.5/36 tried along with a Matua Valley Merlot ($8/glass). Both OK, but both certainly priced to the mark. Pepperjack was $39.50 – say no more.

There are some nice things on the menu – Harpuka with lemon/herb risotto for $22 or Pork Belly, Sweet potato and apple jam for $22 – and the overall offer is very reasonable.

So back to the Gen Y version of I know. It doesn’t irritate, it doesn’t grate, it doesn’t annoy. Yet.

Still I never thought we’d ever tire of ‘Coupla days’, ‘She goes, she goes’, or ‘Not Happy Jan’. Say them now, out loud – tell me how you feel!!

Tony's Pub Of The Week 2010

Tony Leonard is back again this year providing readers with reviews from all the pubs he visits on the Neil Mitchell program every Friday after 11:30am. Your home for all of the reviews - 3AW.com.au/pub2010. View all the reviews by clicking on Tony's image on the right.